Are you drifting apart or running on separate tracks?


Being intentional about connecting in your marriage is essential to avoid the “drift” apart.

We start marriage on the track together. At some point we lose sight of the destination; the journey gets on separate tracks.

Why?
  • Too busy, not paying attention to each other and what is happening. 
  • Hurt by the other, turning away, instead of turning towards each other. 
  • Unrealistic expectations of each other. 
  • Don’t spend time together, lose that feeling of closeness. 
  • Don’t connect except to deal with problems. 
  • Consumed with work, kids, hobbies, etc.
To stop the drift, become intentional with connecting in your marriage! 

It may take time to get back on the same track but you can do it!
  • Daily: Spend 15-20 minutes every day talking face-to-face (not texting/calling unless you are in separate cities) with no family or friends in the room; cell phone and TV off. 
  • Weekly: Go out for fun! Just the two of you. No serious discussions. 
  • Yearly: Take two or more days off, go somewhere as a couple.


Finding Fun ….
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Research shows that having fun together is a key factor related to a couples overall marital happiness.

To ensure successful, fun times together:
  • Agree on a daily time together. 
  • Make a regularly scheduled date night. Put it on your calendar. Block it off, make it a priority. 
  • Don’t discuss conflict issues on date nights. Fun only! 
  • Make date nights and get-aways appropriate for your budget. Find free activities in your area, take a walk, go to a park. Get the book “$10 Great Dates” for more ideas. 
  • Focus on each other. Put away cell phones. Inform the kids to call only if it’s an emergency. 
  • Try something new that you have never done before or go somewhere new. 
  • Make a list of dates that you would both enjoy. Write them out on cards. Get them out when it’s time to plan the next date. 
  • Let go of expectations. Enjoy the moment, even if it’s not what you thought it would be.
See our next post about bringing more joy to your marriage.