Being intentional about connecting in your marriage is essential to avoid the “drift” apart.
We start marriage on the track together. At some point we lose sight of the destination; the journey gets on separate tracks.
Why?
Why?
- Too busy, not paying attention to each other and what is happening.
- Hurt by the other, turning away, instead of turning towards each other.
- Unrealistic expectations of each other.
- Don’t spend time together, lose that feeling of closeness.
- Don’t connect except to deal with problems.
- Consumed with work, kids, hobbies, etc.
It may take time to get back on the same track but you can do it!
- Daily: Spend 15-20 minutes every day talking face-to-face (not texting/calling unless you are in separate cities) with no family or friends in the room; cell phone and TV off.
- Weekly: Go out for fun! Just the two of you. No serious discussions.
- Yearly: Take two or more days off, go somewhere as a couple.
Finding Fun ….
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Research shows that having fun together is a key factor related to a couples overall marital happiness.
To ensure successful, fun times together:
To ensure successful, fun times together:
- Agree on a daily time together.
- Make a regularly scheduled date night. Put it on your calendar. Block it off, make it a priority.
- Don’t discuss conflict issues on date nights. Fun only!
- Make date nights and get-aways appropriate for your budget. Find free activities in your area, take a walk, go to a park. Get the book “$10 Great Dates” for more ideas.
- Focus on each other. Put away cell phones. Inform the kids to call only if it’s an emergency.
- Try something new that you have never done before or go somewhere new.
- Make a list of dates that you would both enjoy. Write them out on cards. Get them out when it’s time to plan the next date.
- Let go of expectations. Enjoy the moment, even if it’s not what you thought it would be.
See our next post about bringing more joy to your marriage.
