We like to ride bikes. We ride some old Schwinn's, inherited from my parents. We go about three miles, turn around, and come back along the same route.
The route that we use most often is mostly flat but has a few small hills on it. There is one hill in particular that has a good long incline. As we go up that incline, I have to pedal harder and harder. I put it in the lowest gear by the time I get to the top. But on the way back, it's a breeze. Put it in high gear and let her fly!
I love those times of coasting on my bike. But I have learned that the part that really helps me get stronger and healthier are those uphill climbs. I have to keep going, no matter how harder it is. The more often we ride, the easier those uphill climbs become. I have even been able to make it all the way to the top without low gear!
Marriage is not a lot different from biking. To make it stronger, we have to work hard on those difficult parts. If I quit and turn around, I haven't made any progress to my destination. I haven't gotten any stronger or healthier.
Many couples try to coast in their marriage. They don't take the time or effort to work at it or spend time together as a couple. If you are coasting, you are going downhill!
The most common habit in which couples find themselves is neglect - not just neglecting each other but also neglecting the marriage. Even a small effort to go up the hill is progress. Start by taking some time to do something fun, just the two of you - no kids, no friends. Remember .... that is why you got married .... because you had fun together, you enjoyed each other.
You can get to that place again - enjoying each other. But coasting won't get you there. Make your marriage a "No Coasting" zone. No more neglect!