She took from its fruit and ate ….

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Genesis 3:6 

The first couple had some time of living the dream - walking with God in a perfect environment (the garden), with perfect weather, perfect bodies (perfect health), and all the time in the world to enjoy each other (no kids yet!). 

Satan came to discredit God and separate man and woman, God’s highest creation, from God. He used lies and deceptions to lure Eve. It worked; she took the bait. 

Instead of having confidence in God’s Word and His character, she decided on her own whether she should eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 

Satan deceived her with words such as “Did God really say ...” (challenging God’s word) and “You will not surely die.” (you can sin and nothing will happen to you) and “You will be like God.” In the last statement, the original language does not have “like”, he is saying “you will be a god.” 

From her perspective, she looked at the fruit and made her own judgment call, ignoring God’s warning. In her view, she saw a fruit that would taste good, satisfy her physical desires. She saw something that had beauty; she wanted to possess this beautiful object of her desires. And she concluded that it would make her wise, like God. 

As she came to these conclusions, she might have even thought Adam agreed since he never said anything to Satan or to her. 

After she ate, she shared her fruit with her husband who was with her. The world has never been the same. Those decisions profoundly affect marriage and every relationship, most of all, our relationship with God. 

Satan tempts us with the same lies and deceptions today. (see below) 

Even though most of us do not have the audacity to say that we can be like God or be our own God, we too decide that we can make up our own mind, that we can make our own decision about an action, regardless of what God says.

Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” Genesis 3:13

And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 1 Timothy 2:14

But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:3

Eve was tempted to sin by the deceptions of Satan. The enemy specializes in lies and deceptions. Satan uses the same methods with us today. He deceives us through challenging God’s word and His character.

Deceptions are usually harder to identify than blatant lies. Often a deception has an element of truth but is not the whole truth leading the listener to a false conclusion. Or in the case of Eve, Satan questioned the truth, God’s Word.
The questions and the lies led Eve to believe that God would not punish her and that she could make her own decisions apart from Him.

Satan deceives us in the same way - I can sin and get away with it. I can make my own decisions. I can decide on my own what is good or bad.

As Paul warned, we can be lead astray from our devotion to the Lord. 

More on the issue of control in marriage in the next post.

Related to this topic:

Blame, Passivity, and Procrastination

As God walked through the garden and their world in which Adam and Eve lived, He called out for them. They were not walking with Him.

Before the fall, they were naked and not ashamed. (Genesis 2:25)

After the fall into sin, Adam and Eve hid from God and covered themselves because of their shame. 

Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it. Genesis 3:11-12

When God addressed the sin, He asked Adam to tell Him what happened. He went to Adam first. When God asked Adam about eating the fruit, Adam does not take responsibility for his disobedience to God’s command. Instead, he blames Eve and he blames God for giving Eve to him. As God talks to Eve, she blames the serpent.

Blaming another person in marriage or in life does not give room for us to take responsibility for wrong choices, consequently, a person is not teachable.

When I blame another person, it does not make life better or happier; it is a denial of my own sin. 


Once the blame game began, defensiveness went ballistic. The aftershock is dramatic. A man knows instinctively that his role is to lead but does not know how because of his separation from God. 

Some men turn this feeling of inadequacy into passivity. Others take the passivity one step further into procrastination. 

Some personalities tend to be more passive and procrastinate. Some perfectionists procrastinate because they don’t want to make a mistake or are afraid of failure and/or success. 

I am convinced that our instant gratification culture creates more procrastinators. Many people do not want to do the work it takes to complete a necessary task or to achieve a goal. “I know that I have to write this report but I would rather watch TV.” .... “I want a great marriage but I don’t really want to do the work; I just need a better/different mate.” .... “I know I need to budget my money but I would rather use a credit card to get what I want.” .... “My wife wants me to spend time listening and talking to her; we can do that when the kids are older or I don’t work so much.” 

Whatever the reasons, this kind of passivity and/or procrastination can be deadly. Abraham passively agreed to Sarah’s plan to have children through her maid. Genesis 16:3 says that he listened to her voice, said nothing, and followed her plan. Then, Abraham did not deal with the tension between Sarah and Hagar. He put off the discipline of Ishmael - resulting in centuries of Arab-Israeli conflict. 

God gives his children his Spirit to be able to move beyond passivity and procrastination into a life that honors and glorifies Him, as we allow Him to work in us and live through us.

See related posts:

Relationship Status: It's Complicated.

Yes, from the moment sin entered the human experience, marriage became complicated. The husband and wife engage in a dance that has perpetuated through history. 

A wife has an expectation of her husband which includes perfect leadership. When he doesn't lead, she takes the first step and leads. If he takes the first step and she doesn't agree with him, she criticizes and attacks. In either situation, his next step is out of the dance; he withdraws and retreats - initiating less often. 

When men become passive at home - some think that it’s the wife’s domain, or he thinks it is her job to take care of the kids and home, or he doesn't have the confidence to lead or to even let his thoughts and feeling out to his wife. 

Over the last few years I have seen in my office an increasing number of couples who share a common denominator. The man is active, articulate, energetic and usually successful in his work. But he is inactive, inarticulate, lethargic and withdrawn at home. In his relationship to his wife he is passive. And his passivity drives her crazy. . . Pierre Mornell, M.D. 

The wife may overreact out of frustration. She interprets his dance as “he doesn't love me” or “he doesn't care” or “he can’t lead.” She believes that it won’t get done if she doesn't do it. 

Many husbands already feel inadequate; his wife’s response confirms it. 

To have a godly marriage, a wife may have to stop initiating the next step or leading the dance. 

Some men wrongly think leadership is being a ruler or dictator. God’s idea is a that of a servant. He also instructs men to follow Him, rather than people. If family members (his wife or children) seek to step outside God’s will, the husband is not to follow them into sin but obey God and lead them in truth.