- I can say whatever I want.
- I don’t care who it offends.
- I am not apologizing.
Stubborn defiance fueled by pride is the barrier for most people. In most situations, one of these scenarios is playing out:
- I wasn’t wrong. I am not apologizing.
- Apologies are made by weak people.
- I messed up but he has hurt me many times; he deserves it.
- An apology will come back to hurt me. If I admit I was wrong, she will use it against me.
PRIDE has a strong hold in many of our lives.
PRIDE manifests itself in so many subtle, but lethal ways:
- In a hidden desire for the praise and admiration of others
- an insistence on being “right"
- the desire to be noticed and appreciated
- fear of rejection
- pre-occupation with myself my feelings, my needs, my circumstances, my burdens, my desires, my successes, my failures.
When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2
But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2
Why should I apologize...
if I didn’t do anything wrong?
I apologize for the hurt that I caused. I apologize to reconcile the relationship. Reconciliation is important.
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud.
Romans 12:16
Sometimes I say things that are true but the words are still hurtful.
A good guideline to follow: Is it true? Is it loving? Is it necessary?
As long as you are proud, you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you. C.S. Lewis
As long as you are proud, you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you. C.S. Lewis
HUMILITY
All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5
HUMILITY develops through maturing in faith. Humility shows that I recognize my own desperate condition apart from God.
I can acknowledge that everything good in my life comes from Him and not from anything that I have done or can do.
In humility, I see that my value and worth in life is from and through the life of Christ in me.
At that point, admitting that I am wrong or don’t measure up to my own or other’s standards does not threaten my sense of personal worth. I do not have to prove my “right-ness,” competence, or strength.
I don’t have to make the other person feel worse so that I can feel better.
See our previous post:
Apologize or not?
Related topics on problems/solutions in marriage:
Animosity and Antidotes
Friendship vs. Coexistence
Marriage Solutions
Marriage Problems
