True Love, Lasting Love

Love is a command, not just a feeling. 

Somehow, in the romantic world of music and theater we have made love to be what it is not. 

We have so mixed it with beauty and charm and sensuality and contact that we have robbed it of its higher call of cherishing and nurturing.
Ravi Zacharias

True Love …
You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.
Amy Carmichael

The way we talk about love is far from what love really is. 

Love is something we do. We may or may not always feel loving or feel loved, but the feeling or lack thereof doesn’t change the choice to love another.

We talk about “falling in love” as if it is something that happens to us against our will and with disastrous results. Think about song, movie, or book titles - Crazy in Love, Burning Love, Blind Love, Dangerously in Love, or Crazy, Stupid Love.

Love sounds traumatic.

We have an expectation of a romantic relationship (hearts, flowers, happily ever after) and of an accidental, emotionally wild ride at the same time.

What if we viewed love differently and talked about it more realistically?

Linguists, Mark Johnson and George Lakoff, suggest an interesting solution. They suggest we use a new metaphor about love, “a collaborative work of art.” This metaphor suggests that effort, compromise, and shared goals. It implies that we work together on the relationship and that there is beauty in it.

Love in marriage should be collaborative. But love can also be a one-sided commitment. 

If we truly love unconditionally, that means that we love no matter what. It doesn’t mean that we don’t confront sin and destructive behaviors or that we don’t share how we feel. True love means that I will love you as a person, even when I don’t agree with your behavior. 

Lasting Love ….

How do I make love last for a lifetime?

When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. C. S. Lewis
  • Love God! Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5
  • I love as God loves me. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34
  • Put your spouse before yourself. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3
  • Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
  • Be patient. Love is patient. 1 Corinthians 13:4
  • Accept each other; don’t try to change each other. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Romans 15:7
See our previous post about Romance and Love.