Many Christians are committed to marriage and will not get a divorce. Commitment can save a marriage. But if they don't pursue oneness, the end result is isolation. Isolation is not God's desire for marriage either. His design is oneness.
We must be vigilant in our relationship when we have serious conflicts or breaches of trust. If we do not actively seek help, isolation is a highly probable result.
Sometimes there is a deep hurt. Because the couple stays together and goes on, one may think it is resolved and they are reconciled. But bitterness and resentment could be growing in the heart of the other if the couple is not seriously pursuing oneness.
We highly encourage couples who have had a deep wound in their marriage to put everything they have into healing their marriage - together!
It could mean that the party who has caused the offense, not only apologizes and seeks forgiveness, but also seeks to initiate whatever is needed to bring healing. Do not assume that everything is okay just because you apologized! Do not assume that everything is okay because your spouse isn't complaining any more. Do not ignore the warning signs!
Instead of those differences becoming gaps that fit together, they become points of resistance and irritation.
*Isolation is a disease that afflicts every marriage at some point. A husband and wife slowly drift apart in ways they don't even recognize at first. Signs of isolation include the following:
- A feeling that your spouse isn't hearing you and doesn't want to understand
- An attitude of "Who cares?" "Why try?"
- A feeling of being unable to please or meet the expectations of your spouse
- A sense that your spouse is detached from you
- A refusal to cope with what's really wrong: "That's your problem, not mine."
- A feeling that keeping the peace by avoiding the conflict is better than the pain of dealing with reality
- Learn God’s plan for marriage.
- Reaffirm your commitment.
- Deal with your selfishness.
- Begin to pray with your spouse.
- Develop your relational skills.
- Spend focused time together.
- Attend a marriage conference.
- Start/attend a couples’ Bible study
See our last two posts about this topic: