Trust and Trustworthy


Every day that we step into this world, we enter into trust relationships.

When we leave home, we trust that our car is going to work and that other drivers are going to obey the traffic signs.

We trust the bank to keep our money safe and assessable. We trust our employer to pay us when we go to work.

We trust our friends to not share the personal parts of our lives. We trust the schools to educate and safeguard our children.

When I marry, I trust you to be faithful. I trust you with my emotions. I trust you with my innermost thoughts. I trust you to care about me and listen when I’m upset. I trust you to be honest with me. I trust you with our children. I trust you to be loyal to me - even over parents and friends.

If betrayal enters any trust relationship, it is very hard to trust again in that situation.

If we don’t trust others, we end up isolated, alone, and paranoid. We are unable to trust another person with our love, our thoughts and feelings.

> It has been said, We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone — but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.

Others will always let us down. It takes courage to risk being hurt — courage to continue to engage with the world, with institutions, and with people — especially in marriage.

Even when my spouse lets us down, I have to learn to trust again — not based on their character but based on my love for that person and my trust in the Lord. 


We cannot trust in our possessions or wealth, in others, or in ourselves.
  • Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. Psalm 20:7 
  • Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save. Psalm 146:3 
  • Those who trust in their riches will fall. Proverbs 11:28 
  • Those who trust in themselves are fools. Proverbs 28:26a 
We can trust God, have confidence in Him, and rely on His love for us.
  • Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 
  • Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. Jeremiah 17:17 
  • I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. Psalm 52:8 
  • When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. Psalm 56:3


As a marriage partner, not only do I need to trust my spouse, I need to show myself to be worthy of trust. 

Trustworthiness is built on honesty and transparency.

For my spouse to trust me, I show that I am honest in what I say and transparent in what I do.

Being honest doesn’t mean that I say everything that I think. But it does mean that I am honest in all that I do say.

Being transparent means that I do not try to hide anything from my spouse. I am transparent about how I spend my time, to whom I talk, text, or email. 

Deception is not an option.

Building trust includes showing my spouse that I can be trusted to care for her when she needs support — whether it is physical or emotional. 

What do I do when I see that she is tired or sad?
Do I stop what I am doing and put him first?
Do I listen to him?
Do I give up what I want to do right then to help relieve her fatigue or stress? 

When I am trustworthy, I am faithful and loyal to my spouse. My faithfulness to my spouse keeps me from even considering an intimate conversation with someone of the opposite gender. I don’t daydream of how life could be with someone else. 

When my marriage seems bland and lifeless, instead of blaming my spouse, I infuse spontaneity and creativity into the relationship. I am faithful to grow our marriage.

My loyalty to my spouse puts him before anyone else — ahead of my parents, our children, friends, or work. My spouse is my priority.

Being trustworthy means that when my spouse shares her thoughts and ideas, she can trust me to be respectful and interested.


How do I build trust in my marriage?
  • I am honest with my spouse at all times - no lies, white or otherwise. 
  • I let my spouse know where I am at all times. I do not have lunch or dinner with someone of the opposite sex without talking to my spouse about it. 
  • I let me spouse read or check my emails, phone, texts, or any other messages at any time. 
  • I allow my spouse to make me accountable for my behavior or attitude. My spouse can call me out if I have a bad or neglectful behavior. 
  • I make my home a safe place, both physically and emotionally. My spouse can trust me not to be physically violent. My spouse can trust me to care about how I make her feel with my responses and remarks to her. 
  • Most of all, I can show that I am trustworthy as I trust the Lord with my life. I am committed to follow Him in every aspect of my life. Our home is a place of faith.