Conflict isn’t bad. It only means that you are part of the human race!
Working through a conflict can actually bring you to a much closer place in your relationship. Avoiding conflict is deadly.
Not that we have to talk through every single thing. There are some things that we just agree to disagree. But on vital issues, avoiding the conflict means that we push it under and it erupts later and worse. It is like holding a beach ball under water. I can do it for a while, but it takes a lot of energy and eventually it will pop up, higher than before.
An important point to remember - Your spouse is not your enemy; Satan is!
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10) Satan wants to divide us; Jesus wants to give us the abundant life!
In marriage, we have two people with different genders, different genetic makeup, different backgrounds, life experiences, and personalities. These two people come together and live in a very intimate relationship - up close and personal. Because we are in love, we think we are compatible. Actually, the former has nothing to do with the later!
Compatibility usually takes years to develop. In the mean time, we have conflict! Conflict is normal and happens to everyone. Those energy lines sometimes get frayed!
Recently, we came home one day to find part of the power in our house was out - not all of it, just part of it. Ed checked the breakers, nothing unusual there. These home maintenance problems at our house always happen on a Friday evening or on a holiday! Not one to like being without power in the winter, I called an electrician. Shortly after I called, Ed went out to the back yard and saw a guy from the power company up on a pole behind our house. As it turned out, there was some frayed wiring which caused some of the power to go out.
Frayed wiring in a marriage means that we are not getting all of the energy or power to our marriage. We may have some energy but we may also see sparks flying at times. Everyone has conflicts. The conflict isn't the problem, the problem is how we handle it.
Rather than run from conflict, expect it! Be prepared for it.
So, do not avoid it, just because it makes you uncomfortable. Conflict doesn’t mean you have a bad marriage or that you need to leave your job or friendship. It means you are human like the rest of us.
"Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict." William Ellery Channing