Tips to Recharge Your Marriage

Have you ever had a battery that could not be recharged? I had to replace the battery on my previous computer because it got to a place of not being able to recharge. It started out great but gradually got harder and harder to charge.

In marriage, we must RECHARGE. Just as a rechargeable battery takes time to recharge, recharging our marriage takes time—nothing takes the place of time together! Unlike a man-made battery, marriage can ALWAYS be recharged. In the previous post, I talked about the role of the Holy Spirit in recharging marriage. While the Holy Spirit is working, we also can take practical steps.

• Intimacy in a relationship takes time! Establish regular times for connecting:

1. At least 15 minutes per day - even though 15 minutes doesn't sound like a long time, some couples find it challenging to find that much time alone, especially in the preschool years. Find the time and STAY FOCUSED on each other.
2. A date once a week - by yourselves to have fun, isn't that where you started? No kids, no friends, no family - just the two of you, for at least 2 or 3 hours. The date doesn't have to be expensive, take a walk, go for a drive. Can't afford a sitter? Find a friend to trade with - one Friday night you go out and they keep the kids. The next Friday night, you keep the kids and your firends go out for the evening.
3. A yearly get-away by yourself - even if you can only go for 2 or 3 days, it is important to get away to have fun together, to remember what it was like before you had kids.

REMEMBER you want to keep a strong marital bond and friendship while the kids are growing up, so that you will still have a marriage when they leave home. Parents often feel guilty about working all day and not being with their kids in the evening. It is often said that the best way to love your kids is to love your spouse. Having a strong marital relationship gives children a sense of security.

• A key to intimacy is spending time sharing your desires, dreams, deepest thoughts. and emotions. Nothing can take the place of time spent together connecting on a very personal level.

In his book Fighting for Your Marriage, marriage researcher Dr. Howard Markman reports that the amount of fun couples had together emerged as the single strongest factor in their overall marital happiness. Other positives were occurring in these relationships—but good relationships became great when they were preserving both the quantity and quality of fun times together.

Marriage takes work but should also be fun!