Friends look in the same direction. C.S. Lewis
In any other relationship, how would we define friendship?
A friend is someone with whom I can be myself - the good, the bad, and the ugly - and the person will still love and accept me. We share common interests and speak honestly from the heart without fear of criticism or retribution.
To be friends, you have to spend time together and get to know each other more personally. You care about the well-being of the other person. You see the best in him and want the best for him.
To develop friendship in marriage, the same principles apply. You and your spouse won’t be alike but you should be like-minded. You share common interests and values.
Being friends with your spouse doesn’t mean that your spouse is your only friend. Healthy friendships are not exclusive or based on neediness.
Developing friendship with your spouse must be intentional and takes time.
Neglecting the friendship factor in your marriage relationship grows animosity (see our next post) and isolation. Friendship can be renewed and strengthened!
When we married over 40 years ago, we could both say without hesitation that we were close friends. Yes, there was a romantic interest that sparked between us, but first came several common interests.
During the early child-rearing years, we neglected our friendship at times, while trying to juggle kids, home, and career. It soon became apparent that our marriage needed our friendship to thrive.
During the early child-rearing years, we neglected our friendship at times, while trying to juggle kids, home, and career. It soon became apparent that our marriage needed our friendship to thrive.
Based on thousands of assessments, Prepare-Enrich research reveals that the #1 strength of happy couples is that they feel very close to each other.
In any other relationship, how would we define friendship?
A friend is someone with whom I can be myself - the good, the bad, and the ugly - and the person will still love and accept me. We share common interests and speak honestly from the heart without fear of criticism or retribution.
To be friends, you have to spend time together and get to know each other more personally. You care about the well-being of the other person. You see the best in him and want the best for him.
To develop friendship in marriage, the same principles apply. You and your spouse won’t be alike but you should be like-minded. You share common interests and values.
Being friends with your spouse doesn’t mean that your spouse is your only friend. Healthy friendships are not exclusive or based on neediness.
Developing friendship with your spouse must be intentional and takes time.
Neglecting the friendship factor in your marriage relationship grows animosity (see our next post) and isolation. Friendship can be renewed and strengthened!
Nurturing Friendship ….
Marriage is work but marriage should be fun too!
Nurturing friendship in marriage starts with the heart. Having a caring and compassionate heart for another person (most of all your spouse) is Biblical and is a choice we make.
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
Nurturing friendship in marriage starts with the heart. Having a caring and compassionate heart for another person (most of all your spouse) is Biblical and is a choice we make.
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other,
just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
These ideas can strengthen a marriage even if only one person is implementing them.
Suggestions:
These ideas can strengthen a marriage even if only one person is implementing them.
Suggestions:
- Take time every day to connect, even it’s only 15 minutes. Share your day.
- Respond to each other gently and kindly.
- Find at least one activity that you can enjoy doing together - without your children - and engage in it.
- Take time to learn about an interest of your spouse, whether you share that interest or not. (For example - if your husband is a hunter, learn enough about it to talk to him. If your wife likes crafting, learn about her crafts.)
- Accept your spouse’s differences and affirm their strengths.
- Be open with each other.
Second in a series of Marriage Problems and Solutions
