Do you want to change your future?

When you FORGIVE,
you don’t change the PAST,
but you do change the FUTURE. 
Author Unknown

Through the years of counseling, we have to come to the conclusions that:
  • A relationship of any kind won’t survive without forgiveness, 
  • Forgiveness (and unforgiveness) may be the strongest human dynamic. 
A key component in unconditional love is forgiveness. You cannot love without forgiving.

When we meet with couples in crises, unforgiveness comes to the forefront. Even Christian couples often fail to forgive.

What is forgiveness?

In a practical sense, to forgive means that I give up the right to punish another person for the hurt that person caused me and I won’t bring it up or dwell on it.

The offense will come to my mind but I have a plan for what I am going to do to re-focus when it does come to my mind. 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things(Philippians 4:8)

The more I dwell on an offense (especially without talking about it) the worse it gets.

We have many reasons for not wanting to forgive (see our next post). What we don’t realize is that unforgiveness hurts me more than it hurts the other person. In fact, many times, they don’t even know that there is an offense.

As long as I don’t forgive, I am in bondage to that other person; I am chained to the person and the offense.

When I forgive, I can throw off the chain and experience peace and freedom inside.

FORGIVENESS is not dependent on the other person; it’s between me and God.

In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace. Ephesians 1:7

I can forgive .... because He has forgiven me.

I want to forgive .... because He has forgiven me.

I will forgive .... in the same way He has forgiven me - unlimited.

When God forgives my sins, He says that He will not punish me for them because Christ took the punishment, and He isn’t going to bring them up. He chooses to remember them no more.

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.
Psalm 103:12