BLAME
As God walked through the garden and their world in which Adam and Eve lived, He called out for them. They were not walking with Him.Before the fall, they were naked and not ashamed. (Genesis 2:25)
After the fall into sin, Adam and Eve hid from God and covered themselves because of their shame.
Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it. Genesis 3:11-12
When God addressed the sin, He asked Adam to tell Him what happened. He went to Adam first. When God asked Adam about eating the fruit, Adam does not take responsibility for his disobedience to God’s command. Instead, he blames Eve and he blames God for giving Eve to him. As God talks to Eve, she blames the serpent.
Blaming another person in marriage or in life does not give room for us to take responsibility for wrong choices, consequently, a person is not teachable.
When I blame another person, it does not make life better or happier; it is a denial of my own sin.
When God addressed the sin, He asked Adam to tell Him what happened. He went to Adam first. When God asked Adam about eating the fruit, Adam does not take responsibility for his disobedience to God’s command. Instead, he blames Eve and he blames God for giving Eve to him. As God talks to Eve, she blames the serpent.
Blaming another person in marriage or in life does not give room for us to take responsibility for wrong choices, consequently, a person is not teachable.
When I blame another person, it does not make life better or happier; it is a denial of my own sin.
PASSIVITY and PROCRASTINATION
Once the blame game began, defensiveness went ballistic. The aftershock is dramatic. A man knows instinctively that his role is to lead but does not know how because of his separation from God.
Some men turn this feeling of inadequacy into passivity. Others take the passivity one step further into procrastination.
Some personalities tend to be more passive and procrastinate. Some perfectionists procrastinate because they don’t want to make a mistake or are afraid of failure and/or success.
I am convinced that our instant gratification culture creates more procrastinators. Many people do not want to do the work it takes to complete a necessary task or to achieve a goal. “I know that I have to write this report but I would rather watch TV.” .... “I want a great marriage but I don’t really want to do the work; I just need a better/different mate.” .... “I know I need to budget my money but I would rather use a credit card to get what I want.” .... “My wife wants me to spend time listening and talking to her; we can do that when the kids are older or I don’t work so much.”
Whatever the reasons, this kind of passivity and/or procrastination can be deadly. Abraham passively agreed to Sarah’s plan to have children through her maid. Genesis 16:3 says that he listened to her voice, said nothing, and followed her plan. Then, Abraham did not deal with the tension between Sarah and Hagar. He put off the discipline of Ishmael - resulting in centuries of Arab-Israeli conflict.
God gives his children his Spirit to be able to move beyond passivity and procrastination into a life that honors and glorifies Him, as we allow Him to work in us and live through us.
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