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Grace in Marriage

In a grace-full family, church, or group, individuals receive messages that they are loved and accepted, valuable, and not alone to face life.  Jeff VanVonderen, Families Where Grace is in Place

Most of us have met people who seem to be full of grace.

They accept and encourage others. They are not critical or judgmental. They display kindness, compassion, mercy, and gratitude with an attitude of humility.

We are attracted to that kind of person. We want to be that kind of person.

How do I display grace?

My display of grace towards others has a direct relationship to my view of God’s grace towards me. (see more on that topic below)

The way that I was treated and taught as I was growing up influences whether I am critical and judgmental or whether I am full of grace and mercy.

What happens in a marriage and a family that is full of grace?

I will seek the very best for my spouse. I love him for who he is - not what he does. I can separate who he is as a person from his behavior.

I communicate to my child that she is loved, accepted, and valued. I won’t use messages that will shame.

To make this kind of attitude and relationship work, I will fill my heart with forgiveness by the presence and power of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me.

If forgiveness is missing, I will retaliate for the hurt that I have experienced (we ALL experience hurt in marriage and with family). Grace and unforgiveness cannot live side-by-side.

Grace means that God is the source of my acceptance, love, and value. When He is my source, I don’t have to depend on others to meet my needs. Instead, I can meet their needs as an agent of our Lord.

God's Grace

Grace is the good pleasure of God that inclines Him to bestow benefits upon the undeserving. A.W. Tozer

God’s grace to us means that Jesus paid the penalty for my sin. I can receive God’s forgiveness based on what Christ did, not based on what I did. He did it because of His love for me, not because of my love for Him.

As a result of grace, we have been saved from sin’s penalty. One day we will be saved from sin’s presence. In the meantime we are being saved from sin’s power.  Alistair Begg

For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace. Romans 6:14

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished on us.
Ephesians 1:6-8a

What happens when grace isn't in place? Read our next blog.


Recommended reading:
  • Families Where Grace is in Place and Tired of Trying to Measure Up by Jeff VanVonderen 
  • Be Transformed by Scope Ministries 
  • What’s so Amazing about Grace? by Philip Yancey 
  • Grace: More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine by Max Lucado