LISTENING
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. Stephen Covey
Communication is central in every home and business - 76% of our waking hours are spent in some form of communication. Listening takes the biggest share of communication, 42-57% of our day.
Listening is vastly different from hearing. Hearing is a sensory (physical) process; listening is a mental process. Hearing is passive - perceiving sounds, effortless. Listening is active - requires conscious efforts, concentration, and interest.
I can hear birds singing, but it doesn’t take my attention. Or I can listen to a bird singing, seeking to identify the kind of bird.
Failure to listen and understand results in endless conflicts.
Listening is vastly different from hearing. Hearing is a sensory (physical) process; listening is a mental process. Hearing is passive - perceiving sounds, effortless. Listening is active - requires conscious efforts, concentration, and interest.
I can hear birds singing, but it doesn’t take my attention. Or I can listen to a bird singing, seeking to identify the kind of bird.
Failure to listen and understand results in endless conflicts.
Failure to listen can be a hearing problem or it can be a heart problem - usually it’s the latter.
We often react with emotion to the first few words out of the other person’s mouth. If I am formulating a response or interrupting the other person, I am not listening to understand the other person’s message or heart.
To answer before listening—that is folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13
Another obstacle to good listening is distraction. In previous years, distractions would be reading or working, then television became an issue, now it is the ubiquitous cell phone. To listen, I give my attention to the other person - no TV, computers, or phone. [see our next post]
Communication/listening is one of the top issues that we see with couples who are struggling in their marriages. One or both don’t feel that the other one listens to them.
Changing this one area can change the whole relationship!
We often react with emotion to the first few words out of the other person’s mouth. If I am formulating a response or interrupting the other person, I am not listening to understand the other person’s message or heart.
Another obstacle to good listening is distraction. In previous years, distractions would be reading or working, then television became an issue, now it is the ubiquitous cell phone. To listen, I give my attention to the other person - no TV, computers, or phone. [see our next post]
Communication/listening is one of the top issues that we see with couples who are struggling in their marriages. One or both don’t feel that the other one listens to them.
Changing this one area can change the whole relationship!
To listen -
- I give my attention to the other person and they know it!
- I respond with words and body language.
- I ask questions and/or empathize.
- I show value to the other person as they talk!
See "Distractions from Listening" in our next post.
