We were so attentive to each other before marriage. We show each other how important and valuable they are to us.
But after we are married, we often become complacent and take each other for granted. I become focused on the things that annoy me instead of the special qualities in my spouse, the reasons we got married. We neglect the little things that show gratitude and appreciation.
When we truly feel gratitude, we experience heartfelt awe and appreciation for the goodness of something outside ourselves. Having gratitude towards someone or something means respecting its value and treasuring how unique, beautiful, or indispensable it is. (Susan Heitler Ph.D)
Without gratitude and appreciation, I don't feel valued by my spouse.
When we are living up close and personal, hurt eventually happens. After the hurt, I may strike back and cause more hurt. Or I may withdraw and allow bitterness and resentment to set in. Resentment causes more hurt and leads to a hard heart.
If I don’t have the courage to extend appreciation, even when I see my spouse do something good, we get into a downward spiral. Then, my spouse doesn’t show appreciation and criticizes me . . . then I am not going to show appreciation.
Disregard for my spouse's positive behavior or neglecting to show appreciation or ignoring his/her special qualities will lead towards a cold, hard marriage.
With the Lord's presence in my life, I can be strong and have the courage to show appreciation and gratitude, even when I know that it may not be returned in the beginning. It will make me feel better as well as building bridges in my marriage.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
But after we are married, we often become complacent and take each other for granted. I become focused on the things that annoy me instead of the special qualities in my spouse, the reasons we got married. We neglect the little things that show gratitude and appreciation.
When we truly feel gratitude, we experience heartfelt awe and appreciation for the goodness of something outside ourselves. Having gratitude towards someone or something means respecting its value and treasuring how unique, beautiful, or indispensable it is. (Susan Heitler Ph.D)
Without gratitude and appreciation, I don't feel valued by my spouse.
When we are living up close and personal, hurt eventually happens. After the hurt, I may strike back and cause more hurt. Or I may withdraw and allow bitterness and resentment to set in. Resentment causes more hurt and leads to a hard heart.
If I don’t have the courage to extend appreciation, even when I see my spouse do something good, we get into a downward spiral. Then, my spouse doesn’t show appreciation and criticizes me . . . then I am not going to show appreciation.
Disregard for my spouse's positive behavior or neglecting to show appreciation or ignoring his/her special qualities will lead towards a cold, hard marriage.
With the Lord's presence in my life, I can be strong and have the courage to show appreciation and gratitude, even when I know that it may not be returned in the beginning. It will make me feel better as well as building bridges in my marriage.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
If I don't take that step of courage, I may see my marriage slip away or descend into a dark place. It's is worth the effort!
I am reminded of a Joni Mitchell song from the '60's:
Don't it always seem to goThat you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
We forget that happiness doesn't come from getting something that I don't have, but it comes from recognizing and appreciating something that I do have.
See our previous post on Appreciation and our next post on Elements of Appreciation.
