Not talking to my partner or talking to myself but talking to God. Nothing gives a marriage more high voltage energy than prayer. Pray for the other person - not that God will change him/her to meet my needs, but that God will bless him. Pray for his day and the difficulties he faces.
Pray that he will know the love of God more deeply. Use Paul's prayer for the Ephesians as a guide. Where it says "you" or "your" put in the name of your spouse. And pray this prayer for yourself, substitute, "me" and "my" in the prayer.
I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, … to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19
We often have the idea that everything all disagreements must be resolved. All differences must be confronted. We must talk out and talk through every issue. The reality is that more is resolved by prayer than by talking to each other.
In our prayers for ourselves and our spouse, ask God for a new perspective. Ask Him to show you how your differences look from your spouse's perspective. Ask God to let your hear how your remarks sound to him/her. Pray for God to soften your heart towards your spouse. God cares about how you feel, you can trust Him with your emotions. He wants to listen to you; He wants you to talk to Him.
"God never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize, but that we may intercede." Oswald Chambers
