#1 WORD ON WORDS Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29(NIV)
This verse may be the most important on our words. God’s Word on our words is very clear. DO NOT speak words that are harmful! The word translated unwholesome in this verse means literally “rotten, putrefied,” such as rotten fruit. Other translations use the words “foul, dirty, abusive, corrupt.”
In contrast, we are to say words that will encourage and help others. The verse is not saying to falsely flatter a person, but to be kind and truthful in a way that will strengthen them.
We want to strengthen others according to what their real needs are, not just what they think they need. Real needs would include knowing God’s love for them, knowing His care and concern for them, knowing someone on this earth values them and believes in them.
When we speak in those ways, people WILL listen to our words and they will WANT to listen to what we say.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. Dale Carnegie
Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. Napoleon Hill
#2 WORD ON WORDS
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)
If we could put into practice this verse along with Ephesians 4:29 (see above), we could take care of most marriage and relationship problems.
Very simple, but not easy!
Three concepts:
- Kindness
- Compassion
- Forgiveness
We often challenge couples to be as kind to each other as they are to the clerk at the store. Most people use a civil tone, without anger or hurtful words to strangers.
How ‘bout we start treating those we love that way too?
People who work in the retail world can tell you that not everyone treats them with kindness. Most of us will find that we will get much better service and cooperation when we are intentional about speaking kindly, even complimenting those workers.
Kind words produce their own image in men's souls; and a beautiful image it is. They soothe and quiet and comfort the hearer. They shame him out of his sour, morose, unkind feelings. We have not yet begun to use kind words in such abundance as they ought to be used. Blaise Pascal
Kindness is the only service that will stand the storm of life and not wash out. Abraham Lincoln
COMPASSION
What does compassion really mean?
From the dictionary: a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
When we think about our Lord, compassion is one of the first and foremost attributes.
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. Psalm 103:8
The word compassion or compassionate is used over 100 times in the Bible (NAS) and most instances are in reference to God’s character. The more we understand His compassion for us, the easier it is for us to be compassionate towards others.
As we experience life’s hardships, the easier it is to identify with others’ hardship … and to be compassionate.
The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in one another. Thomas Merton
FORGIVENESS
A key part of the verse in exhorting us to forgive is “just as in Christ God forgave you.”
We are to forgive in the same way God forgives us. When we receive Christ, God forgave us for everything we have ever done in the past or will do in the future.
We don’t forgive sins; we forgive the hurt. In the same way, that someone (Christ) had to pay for our sin, someone else pays for the hurt. The one who forgives pays the price. We no longer try to make the other person pay when we forgive. Paradoxically, the one who forgives derives the benefit of the forgiveness.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. Lewis B. Smedes
