BEFORE THE WEDDING 
Publicity is rampant.
Every bride’s dream looks miniscule compared to the royal wedding. Estimates for the cost of the wedding start around $30 million. The average U.S. wedding costs $24,000 now.
When looking at wedding websites, the recommendation is to begin planning at least one year ahead, with checklists that include at least 50 items.
We often tell couples the wedding is a one-day event, the marriage lasts a life-time (we hope!).
The cost and preparation for the wedding far exceeds the preparation for the marriage for most couples.
Yet, research shows that couples who go through marital preparation are glad that they did and are more successful in their marriages.
In a research study for the Catholic Church (they have far exceeded other churches in requiring significant premarital preparation), they found:
- The vast majority of individuals who have participated in marriage preparation programs view the experience as valuable early in their marriage.
- Marriage preparation is perceived as most valuable when it is administered by a team.
- The correlation of the intensity of marriage preparation and its perceived value increases with the number of sessions up to 8-9 sessions and then falls off again, suggesting that an intensity of 8-9 sessions might be ideal.
How can we be more effective at getting couples prepared? Churches can require it. Parents can insist on it. We can provide it. (We do couple-to-couple premarital counseling and also do premarital classes, see more info about classes).
THE ODDS FOR THE COUPLE
The Royal Couple chose a path before their marriage that greatly decreases their odds of making the marriage work—they have lived together for several years. Cohabitation increases the risk for divorce.
Other risk factors include:
- Having a personality tendency to react strongly or defensively to problems and disappointments
- Being previously divorced, yourself or your partner
- Having children from a previous marriage/relationship
- Having different religious backgrounds
- Marrying at a very young age (example, at the ages of 18- 19).
- Knowing each other only for a short time before marriage
- Having financial hardship
- Communicating well, eliminating negative patterns
- Working as a team, even in disagreements.
- Realistic beliefs about marriage
- Having the same values for important things
- Commitment, protecting your relationship, viewing your marriage as a long-term investment
- Involvement in a faith group regularly
- Having fun together
For more information on preparing for marriage, see:
Resources:
