Remember the times when you were dating, before you got married?
You had fun together! In fact, most people get married because they have fun together. You entertain each other. You laugh; you talk.
Dr. Howard Markman, a psychologist who co-directs the university's Center for Marital and Family Studies, after researching hundreds of couples, finds "The correlation between fun and marital happiness is high, and significant." He believes that it is one of the most important factors for a great marriage.
Ed and I have been married 40 years now. That's a long time! But I still remember the fun times we had together, dating in Baton Rouge while we were going to LSU. We went to football games. He showed me the culture of Louisiana - the plantations, the marsh, bayous, and levees. We ate crawfish, shrimp, and po'boys. I learned about duck hunting and how to lure crabs into a net to get enough to boil.
We continued having fun after we got married and moved to the mountains of Colorado! Who couldn't have fun there? But eventually, we moved back to the south, get involved in our jobs, started having kids, and began to worry about money.
Hmmmm...... what happened to the fun? What happened to times for just the two of us to relax and enjoy being together?
We realized that we had quit making time for ourselves as a couple - career and kids had taken center stage. We decided to reclaim our time together!
Dr. Howard Markman, a psychologist who co-directs the university's Center for Marital and Family Studies, after researching hundreds of couples, finds "The correlation between fun and marital happiness is high, and significant." He believes that it is one of the most important factors for a great marriage.
We started having dates. The kids had more fun with the babysitter anyway. We became intentional about our time together. We spent time talking every day, without the kids interrupting.
If the marriage ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Scott Gardner
We started taking off a few days every year to go somewhere by ourselves, even if it was close by.
The kids grew up and left home. We are growing older. We are nearing the end of our careers. But we still have fun together!
We don't have to plan dates to be alone now; we are together alone a lot. But we plan for special outings that we want to experience together. We still take off by ourselves for a few days (or more!) every year. We celebrate our marriage milestones!
40 Fun years!
40 Fun years!
If the marriage ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Scott Gardner
