As children most of us are taught to say thank you. Children often look at it as a chore, something parents demand, rather than a condition of their heart.
A meaningful “thank you” comes from a heart of gratitude. We teach our children to say “thank you” even for a gift that they really don’t want or an action about which they don’t care.
We can always tell when a “thank you” doesn’t sound sincere. But a sincere “Thank you!” brings delight to our soul.
From a study at UNC-Chapel Hill, “Researchers studying gratitude have found that being thankful and expressing it to others is good for our health and happiness. Not only does it feel good, it also helps us build trust and closer bonds with the people around us.
Now, a new study suggests that expressing gratitude not only improves one-on-one relationships, but could bring entire groups together—inspiring a desire to help and connect in people who simply witness an act of gratitude.”
As people witness expressions of gratitude, they think more highly of the person giving as well as the person receiving it. They are are attracted to working with these people and they are more likely to express appreciation as well.
Why it’s important ……
Making gratitude and giving thanks (to God and to others) forces us to look for the good in our lives.
As humans, our natural tendency is to see that negative around us. But when we are focused on the good, we are less focused on the negative.
We also are forced to acknowledge that others are involved in our well-being. This attitude moves pride aside. We thank God for who He made us to be - our healthy bodies, our intellect, our unique gifts and talents.
We can train ourselves to focus on the good in our lives. We can teach our children to make that a part of their character. When gratitude becomes a habit, it is expressed sincerely and often.
An unknown author once said, “The things we take for granted are dreams to many people.”
What do we take for granted but are prized by others? Are we thankful for them?
When is that last time we thanked God for them?
How and When ….
Does is matter how we express our gratitude?
An expression of thanks in any form is better than none at all. To be effective, be specific about what you are thanking the person - thank you for doing the dishes ….. thank you for the gift card that you gave me for my birthday . . . . thank you for working so hard.
The thanks will have even more impact if you express it publicly. For example, express the sentiment in front of your husband and friends, I am so thankful that my husband took such good care of me while I was sick.
A hand-written thank you note has become a rare treat since that presence of emails and text messages. Because of their rarity, they have even more impact.
In my (Donna’s) first job out of college, my employer would thank me when they handed me my paycheck. I was shocked! I had never experienced that before or heard of it. That expression of thanks for my work went a long way in how I felt about my employment. And I have never forgotten it.
Do we need to thank someone for doing their job - whether it is thanking an employee or a wife for what she does for the family or the husband for providing for the family (or vice versa)?
Expressing gratitude to our spouse for “doing their part” or for the more menial tasks makes them feel loved and appreciated.
In her research about marriage, Shaunti Feldhahn found that husbands feel more loved when their wife tells them “thank you for ….” than from saying “I love you” to them.
Her research shows that 79% of men in highly happy marriages say that it deeply pleases them when “She notices when I do something and sincerely thanks me for it.”
Even if one person in a relationship (marriage, parents, workplace) implements sincere gratitude, it changes the environment for the better.
Consider ….
Ingratitude can be a very destructive state of mind.
Ingratitude is so focused on what I don’t have or unmet expectations in my life to the exclusion of all of the good that God has given me. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father. (James 1:17)
Ingratitude leads to anger, bitterness, and even depression. A lack of gratitude erodes relationships.
Why are people ungrateful?
There can be many roots to the fruit of ingratitude. They can include: an expectant attitude, a demanding spirit, selfishness or self-centeredness, and pride.
A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves. Henry Ward Beecher
Gratitude changes everything.
Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. William Arthur Ward
