YES!
We have observed the change that takes place both in our own marriage and that of many others. While we knew what worked for us, what works for others may be different. But we are happy to say that someone did research on this phenomenon! Shaunti Feldhahn discovered the important elements of a highly successful marriages. [see the research here]
How many marriages are actually happy?
Contrary to what you may hear, the research shows that 77% of all couples say that are "highly happy" or "mostly happy!"
You have heard the phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff." It turns out that the "small stuff" can make a huge difference in marriage!
As Shaunti points out, for change to come about, we need to study the bright spots in marriage, not just the problems.
In struggling marriages, their perspective on how their spouse feels may vary greatly from how their spouse truly feels.
In response to the statement, “Even in the middle of a painful argument, I know that my spouse is fully ‘for me’ and deeply cares about me," 41% of struggling couples disagree with that sentence. In highly happy couples, 96% agree with that statement. But the percent "who care about their spouses and want the best for them, even during painful times," 80% of struggling couples agree with that statement.
A huge gap exists between the reality and the perception of how a spouse feels in a struggling marriage.
Marriages that change find ways to change that perception.
Learn more about the ways that couples can change their marriage in our next blog!
*One caveat - one person cannot save the marriage alone if the other one chooses to leave.
