If you have had a TV on at all in the last week, you have probably seen Jon and/or Kate Gosselin. They have had one of the most public divorces and quarrels of any public couple in a long time.
What began with a fascination over this delightful set of kids has deterioriated to voyeurism by the American public. What happened to the marriage in the wake of chronicling two sets of multiples????
I remember the first time I saw Jon & Kate Plus Eight. My daughter was watching it every week and drew me in. The story of a Christian couple who worked hard to bear children and refused to abort when faced with the reality of raising 8 kids - what an inspiring story.
The Gosselins seemed to have pitched the idea of making a documentary/reality show of their brood in order to have a means of supporting that many kids. Both parents were intelligent adults with professional careers. Kate quit nursing in order to stay home with the kids. After a couple of years on TV, Jon quit his job to help at home too. Both admirable moves.
Part of my first viewing of the series was significant discomfort as I saw the way Kate talked to Jon. As one who has worked in the marriage field for over 20 years, the dialogue was an example of what not to say to your spouse, especially in front of other people, especially to a man. Kate showed her perfectionism in many ways on the show. She didn't understand the concept of "there is more than one right way to do something."
I can't imagine what it would be like to have six kids at one time or to raise sextuplets and twins, at the same time. The kids alone were enough to put an extreme stress on Jon & Kate's marriage. I am sure that most of us wouldn't have done as well as Jon & Kate in raising the kids. I don't say any of this from a self-righteous viewpoint, because I am sure I would have been more on edge and more critical than Kate.
Jon chose women and things over his relationship to his wife and over what is best for his kids. The sudden wealth and notoriety steared him off course. What has happened to their faith?
For all of us who can learn from their mistakes - has it been worth it financially to lose the marriage? Would the marriage have fallen apart without the TV show? Maybe, but being in the lens eye has hastened the dissolution.
Most marriages do not survive in the long term without respect and gratitude. They can, but they usually don't. The couple communicated little or no appreciation or respect between them. That lack of nurturing between the husband and wife stiffles growth and oneness.
For most marriages, the essential element of time spent alone, with each other, brings a bond that no one can stand against. This oneness comes from talking through the hard times and having fun together in the good times.
Most of all, marriage takes a commitment to each other, no matter what. A person can keep that kind of commitment to a person if he has that same commitment to the Lord. With His presence in a person's life, he can live that commitment with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness - essentials to commitment.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
