Marriages in the Bible, part 1

"They have a good marriage."

When we say that statement different images come to our minds. For some people, they think of a couple who talks to each other kindly or talks a lot to each other. To others, it means a couple that seem happy all the time.

When you think of a good marriage in the Bible, who comes to your mind?

Descriptions of marriages in the Bible are actually pretty much non-existent. What we do have are incidents that are recounted between husbands and wives – the good and the bad. Over the next few posts, we will look at several marriages in the Bible - the good, the bad, and the ugly. We will see what we can learn from them.

People have different definitions of what it means to be happy in their marriage. Obviously, even if both the husband and the wife had the same idea, it would be easier for them to be happy. Having a good marriage doesn't mean that you are happy all of the time though. You may even be unhappy with each other on a regular basis.

Here is what some research says. It is based on the findings from assessments of over 50,000 couples from all 50 states.

Top Ten Strengths of Happy Couples from research compiled by Prepare-Enrich in 2008. Each quality is followed by the percent of happy couples who agreed with the statement. [we will look at negative patterns later]

1. We feel very close to each other. 93% of Happy Couples
2. I am very satisfied with how we talk to each other. 95%
3. When we discuss problems, my partner understands my opinions and ideas. 78%
4. I can express my true feelings to my partner. 96%
5. We compromise when problems arise. 83%
6. Our togetherness is a top priority for me. 83%
7. Even during disagreements, I can share my feelings and ideas with my partner. 78%
8. I am satisfied with the amount of affection my partner gives. 68%
9. We find it easy to think of things to do together. 81%
10. My partner is reliable and follows through on most things. 75%

Each quality will look different in every couple. For example, the statement “I am very satisfied with how we talk to each other” does not describe how the couple talks to each other. We may be satisfied with the way we talk to each other, but someone else may not be satisfied if they had the same communication pattern that we have. It’s not necessary that we determine exactly what a good communication looks like. But we do know that there are principles that contribute to a good pattern.

However, more than that, the Bible gives us lots of guidelines about marriage relationships. Some of those guidelines include a description of what to get rid of in your language. So, whether I think it is necessary or even whether my spouse thinks it is necessary, God says it is.

For example, God says to do everything without complaining or criticizing. Both the husband and the wife may complain. They may think that it's okay to complain. But God says that it is not part of the behavior of some who follows Christ. So, it's not okay to complain. And we know His directions for our lives are always what are best for us, whether we realize it at the time or not.

All of that to say, when we look at marriages in the Bible, we will see some positives and we will see some problems. In those positives and those problems, there are Biblical principles that are connected to them. So, we will look at the principles as we go through the marriage examples.

In looking at a good marriage, we will start at the beginning – Adam and Eve. They had a good marriage that went bad. More to come ....

For other posts in this series:
Part 1 - Introduction
Part 2 - The First Marriage, The Good
Part 3 - Adam and Eve, The Bad
Part 4 - Nabal and Abigail
Part 5 - Mary and Joseph
Part 6 - Priscilla and Aquila
Part 7 - Hosea and Gomer