THE GOOD - ADAM AND EVE
The Bible starts with a marriage and ends with a marriage. The place to start in contemplating marriages in the Bible is the first marriage. The marriage started good; God designed it and put it into place.
In the beginning (Genesis 1:26-27; 2:7, 21-22a), God made man and woman in His image. He hand-made each of them, not just speaking them into existence.
God put humans (men and women) at the top of His creation. He put the highest value on us – not based on what we do or don’t do – just because He made us. He chose humans to be created in His image.
THE FIRST MARRIAGE
Man and God had a relationship. But God said that man needed a relationship with other humans too. He needed a physical earthly family. He helped man to see his own need by parading the animals by – none were like him. Then he made man’s perfect complement and brought her to the man.
Adam was excited about Eve. He received Eve as God’s perfect gift. Not based on anything she had done, but on his confidence in God as a giver of good gifts.
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| Creation of Adam and Eve by Jean Fouquet |
We see in this first marriage the principles that God gives us for a good marriage – and a godly marriage.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:24-25
1. Leave – we leave our family of origin (the family we grew up in) and form a new family unit. It doesn’t mean that we don’t still love our parents and siblings or that we don’t respect them or spend time with them. But it does mean that our new family comes first, before our family of origin. My spouse is my first place to share emotional ups and downs. We are independent from our families financially.
2. Unite – or cleave. We join together into a new family unit. A husband and wife become a family. Whether you have children or not, you are a family. We are to be united for life.
We can only stay united for life if we are committed. Commitment is the key not only for staying married but for having a good marriage. Commitment means that I am committed to the very best for my spouse.
If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by. F. Burton Howard
3. One flesh – that phrase “one flesh” carries the idea of “one life lived together.” We are still two individuals with different personalities, but we live our lives together.
As God by creation made two of one, so again by marriage He made one of two. Thomas Adams
One illustration of that would be a “three legged race.” You have two people, joined together, going the same direction, towards the same goal. You run in harmony; you run with a rhythm. The race isn’t a sprint; you can’t see the goal line. The race is a marathon. Sometimes one of you may need to support the other one more. Then at another time the other one may be more of the strong support for the pair.
If you don’t agree on the goal or direction for the race, the marriage, you will head in different directions and not make progress, you won’t be moving forward. If you are going in the same direction but you don’t work together, you may get to the goal but you will have done it at your own pace, with your own rhythm, without supporting each other, without communicating. The race will be harder; you will be more fatigued. You will feel alone, not part of a team.
One flesh is the oneness of marriage. You are not alike, but you are like-minded. The oneness of marriage is part of the covenant relationship that God has joined together.
When a couple speaks their vows, it is not a man or a woman or a pastor or parent who is the main actor – the main doer. God is. God joins a husband and a wife into a one-flesh union. God does that. The world does not know this, which is one of the reasons why marriage is treated so casually. And Christians often act like they don’t know it, which is one of the reasons marriage in the church is not seen as the wonder it is. Marriage is God’s doing because it is a one-flesh union that God Himself performs. John Piper
4. Intimacy – they were naked and not ashamed. There was an innocence in their lives. There was transparency between them, physically and emotionally. Spiritually, they displayed the character of God to each other.
You can go back and look at those qualities of strong marriages in the previous post and see that most of them fall under one of these four principles that we see in God’s design for marriage.
Adam and Eve’s marriage began as a good marriage – God’s best. God gave them and us the principles to be successful in marriage.
More GOOD, BAD, and UGLY to come...
For other posts in this series:
Part 1 - Introduction
Part 2 - The First Marriage, The Good
Part 3 - Adam and Eve, The Bad
Part 4 - Nabal and Abigail
Part 5 - Mary and Joseph
Part 6 - Priscilla and Aquila
Part 7 - Hosea and Gomer
