Adam and Eve had the first marriage in the Bible. They had a perfect environment to succeed. They walked with God in the garden. In the last post, we saw the principles of marriage, which God have them.
But something went terribly wrong. Satan came to divide and destroy their relationship with God and with each other. They believed his lies and sin entered their lives and the earth. Unfortunately, most of us still believe those same lies and still suffer the consequences.
Problems that occurred in their marriage and still happen today:
- Lack of leadership
As Eve and Satan have this dialogue, Adam says NOTHING.
She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Genesis 3:6b
God held Adam responsible for the sin. He was with her and also ate the fruit. We see God address Adam first about the sin. Also, in Romans 5 in the New Testament, the Bible says that sin entered through the first Adam. - Shame
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Genesis 3:7
Before the fall, they were not ashamed but now they feel shame. Shame is a result of the fall and sin and is not from God. God’s intent is not for us to try to shame another person. The emotion of shame is from the enemy. Godly marriages and healthy relationships are not built on using shame to motivate another person, our spouse or our kids. - Fear
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Genesis 3:8-10
They hid because they were afraid of God. God does not want us to be afraid of Him. In fact, several places in Scripture, he tells us not to be afraid of Him.
This emotion of fear was never intended to be part of our relationships with other people or with God. That kind of fear is from the enemy. Fear is on the opposite end of the spectrum from faith.
We are not to use fear as our motive for how we interact with God or with other people. Using fear or anger to get a behavior we desire is not a godly way of relating to others.
When Adam said he was afraid of God, we know that Adam now has a distorted view of God. - Blame
And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from? ” The man said, “The woman you put here with me —she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Genesis 3:11-12
God addresses the sin with Adam first. When he asked Adam about it, what did Adam do? He blamed Eve and God for giving Eve to him.
Sin – blame – shame is a pattern in life. This pattern is not from God; it is from the enemy.
If we blame whatever has happened on another person, what are we saying?
We are saying that it is not my fault; I didn’t do anything wrong. If I blame others for what happens, I do not take responsibility for what I have done, for my part. If I don’t think that I have done anything wrong or take responsibility, how teachable am I? Not at all teachable. I don’t need to learn anything if I didn’t do anything wrong. - Life is Hard
No matter who we are or what our role is in life, it is going to be hard. For Eve, her role in life is that of a wife and mother – she was about to undertake the task of populating the earth. Sin gave her something hard to drive her back to Him.
To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Genesis 3:16
She was to have an increase in pain in childbearing as a mother. As a wife, she would have a desire to control her husband and he would try to rule over her (not lead). She would have no other option but to cry out to God in her pain.
Adam’s role was that of being a farmer to provide for his family.
To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” Genesis 3:17-19
God gave him the garden to tend even before sin entered. The hard part is not just working but now the work would be extra hard. Now, when he farmed, he would have to contend with weeds. At some point, bugs become part of the challenge and, then, the weather.
He now has to work hard to farm – by the sweat of his brow. When Adam had to contend with all of these weeds, he would remember what it was like in the garden and cry out to God for help.
No matter what our role in life is – husband, wife, father, mother, or whatever kind of work we do – life is hard. Life is painful. God wants us to cry out to Him when the marriage is hard. He wants us to come to Him when we are hurt or we are in pain.
We learn God’s principles of marriage; his perfect design – leave, unite, oneness, intimacy.
We learn some common problems that now occur in all marriages. We have identified them. That gives us hope – it’s not just my marriage; it’s very common in marriages.
But we don’t have to keep repeating those problems. We know the root source; we can see avenues to deal with them through God’s word. We have his Presence. He has promised to be a part of this covenant relationship. As we allow Him to work in us and through us, we can be successful! We can each have a good marriage.
More GOOD, BAD, and UGLY to come .....
For other posts in this series:
Part 1 - Introduction
Part 2 - The First Marriage, The Good
Part 3 - Adam and Eve, The Bad
Part 4 - Nabal and Abigail
Part 5 - Mary and Joseph
Part 6 - Priscilla and Aquila
Part 7 - Hosea and Gomer
